The sport of golf is a “gentleman’s” game. The sport of golf is a “gentlewoman’s” game.
“There’s no game like golf. You go out with three friends…and you return with three adversaries!” Gary Player
The mis-experience into my “hitting the fairway vocation” began for me, when I was in the U.S. Aviation based armed forces, as there were six of us, who worked in the acquisition office, at the radar site where I was positioned. Four of the six individuals in the workplace played golf at the time. I didn’t play, since I didn’t have an inkling how to…I thought nothing about golf. What’s more, every Monday morning…without come up short, it was a similar old broken record…all I heard was golf…golf…and more golf!
I told these folks, that I didn’t think the sport of golf was that troublesome! It looked truly easy to me. The golf player hits the ball out in this enormous pasture…chases it…hits it again…chases it…hits it again…knocks the ball in the hole…what can be so troublesome about that? Whoop dee doo!
“Okay…’Mr. Golf’ (I was told), in the event that you think golf is so easy…why don’t you turned out this week-end, and show every one of us the best way to play the game!” I’ve constantly like a decent challenge, so I reacted, “Well…I’ve never been out there on that enormous field previously, however I trust you won’t get frantic on the off chance that I Demonstrate to All of you UP!” I readily took up the welcome, and now I would see with my own eyes what this round of golf was extremely about. The four of us met at the fairway on Saturday morning. Now, I didn’t have any acquaintance with one golf club in the bag…from a nation club or a dance club. Be that as it may, I was a little nervous…because I thought about whether I had gotten into up another situation with my Enormous MOUTH once more!
“I show you folks some things about the sport of golf…no get ready for me…let’s simply begin!”
“One intriguing thing about golf, is that regardless of how severely you play, you can generally deteriorate!” Robin Williams
Opening #1; (Tee shot) I hit the ball hard, however as they call it in golf, I hit it strongly to one side (a cut), which is in fact called a “banana” in the golf world! I would state “hi” to the harsh all morning…something I was not anticipating! I inevitably got the show on the road up on the green and
completed the gap.
Gap #2 (Tee shot) Once more… I took a sound swing, and I was searching for the ball down the fairway someplace…hopefully…about 300 yards down the fairway…but it wasn’t to be! I beat the ball…knobbed it…and the ball streamed down off the tee…off to one side… down the hill…about 10-12 yards! (become flushed redden) Obviously, I didn’t get off to a decent start in the sport of golf!
Gap #3; Tee shot) There was a fence off to one side of the fairway, which was outside the alloted boundaries. I hit my “banana” at the right …it bobbed over the fence, and into a congregation parking area! (My golf ball chose to go to chapel on Saturday rather than Sunday) Gracious, well…the first ball lost, and much to my dismay at the time, that I would lose more golf balls playing this senseless game!
Opening #4; The wretchedness compounded, as my tee shot went the other way, which is known as a “snare” in golf. Now, the score card reads…two bananas and two snares! My subsequent shot, which was assumed get me out of the spinach…stayed in the spinach…but I was nearer to the green! (Hurray!)
Gap #5; My tee shot on the fifth gap, is what is referred to in golf as a “worm-burner,” implying that the ball doesn’t get high up by any means. The ball s-w- – I-I-I-I-I-shes along the highest point of the grass, and with the dampness on the grass…pretty much shields the ball from going far!
Now, the sport of golf was starting to be difficult for me…I was getting disappointed, yet I couldn’t let the folks realize I was at that point enduring!
“Numerous golf players lean toward a golf truck to a caddy, on the grounds that a truck can’t count…criticize…or giggle!” Obscure
Opening #6; Off the tee…I did again…I hit the ball far, yet into the spinach (that is a specialized golf term for the unpleasant) Out of the spinach, I hit the second shot over the green, and into another fairway! Now, things are not searching bravo, in the senseless game called golf! Who developed this moronic game, in any case? Oh…I remember…the game was created by the individuals on the opposite side of the extraordinary pond…who talk that “interesting English,” I remember…someplace in Britain!
Opening #7; Next…a standard 3 gap: This gap would be extreme since I have less strokes and gaps to mess up! Since this gap was shorter, I figured I would do better…but, I didn’t! Off the tee, I hit another hook…and the ball arrived in the left cabbage fix.
I escaped the spinach alright, and the ball arrived before a lake. My chip shot should go over this pond…and onto the green and close the hole…but, an amusing thing happened to my ball while in transit to the hole…KER-PLUNK…the monstrous sound of a SPLASH…as my ball went in for a dip in the water-danger! Another ball lost, and this senseless game is costing me cash!
Gap #8; This was my bad dream opening! I hit the fairway for the first time…the just issue is that I hit the fairway Nearby, and needed to get back on MY fairway! (This game is so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o moronic!) of course, I ended up in the lettuce…and, I figured out how to hit my chip shot into one of the sand-boxes close to the green. It was on this green, is the place I didn’t have an inkling on the off chance that I was playing golf…or ping-pong! I hit the Moronic ball out of the sand=box…and it folded over the green and into the other sand-box over the green!
Distraught as a pooch, I raged over the green and into the other sand-box, and it took me three shots to escape that (swearword) trap! (get it together, Jer). Once more, I hit the sand shot, and my ball folded over the green AGAIN…and into the sand-box from where I just came! All in all…I hit the ball Multiple TIMES to escape one moronic sand-box! Furthermore, at that point I hit the ball Once more into the other fortification over the green! (I need to let you know, the giggling from the folks was stunning!)
Gap #9 (Tee-shot) No one ever trusts me when I recount to this anecdote about the ninth tee shot, however it’s Valid! As we turned the corner, on the initial nine holes, the breeze was in our face, and it was presently blowing very hard as the morning advanced! When I teed off…I got This show on the road the ball so much…I hit it so high…straight up in the air…that the breeze took a few to get back some composure of it…and stole it BACK…to where I teed away from…and dropped it around 12 YARDS BEHIND me! Genuine STORY!
Be that as it may, things deteriorated for me on the ninth opening! On my methodology shot to the green, which was around 20 yards…I hit my best shot….if I may boast a bit! The main issue with the shot…is that…it was my DIVOT that arrived around 6 crawls from the cup! (The chuckling from my companions was stunning!) “Do you folks mind…I need to focus on my shots!”
Break: Opportunity: For the record…
Of my nine tee shots…four of them arrived in the spinach or the cabbage fix; one of the tee shots, went over the fence, and into a congregation parking garage; another ball ricocheted down the road and into a trade-in vehicle parcel; I hit a handfull of fairways with my shots, yet none of them were mine; I hit three trees that were planted in an inappropriate spot; I dispersed worms and gophers on the course throughout the morning; I lost three balls; my high score on any opening was 17; I hit two worm-burners; I hit one tee shot BEHIND ME…and other than that…I might suspect I had an entirely decent round of golf!